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Sunday, January 31, 2016

Day 974: I Feel so Alone in a Crowded Room

Why do you feel completely alone even when you're in a room filled with people? Is it possible that you are actually creating this experience within yourself?

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Saturday, January 30, 2016

Day 973: It's All About Who You Are

Horses can see right through you. It can be an interesting experience, standing face to face with such a large, living creature and know that they probably see you more clearly than you see yourself. If you go to a horse while you're having a bad day, you can be sure that your horse will let you know, in no uncertain terms, that who you are in that moment is not acceptable. Unfortunately for horses, we seldom listen and will attribute their communication to being "bad bahaviour" and, mostly likely, attempt to enforce ourselves on them.

One of the first things my teacher, Patsy Devine of Triple H Horsemanship, taught me is that you cannot bring your emotions with you when you go to your horse. You can almost guarantee that doing so will create a situation in which neither you nor your horse are having a good time. Sometimes I go to the horses when I'm feeling low - but with the deliberate goal of releasing that feeling. I do not allow myself to try and do anything with a horse if I am not holding that goal within me, because I know that the experience will just not be enjoyable.

Getting angry with your horse is similar to getting angry with an infant who is not yet capable of vocalizing their wants and needs - you cannot expect that they will understand you better because you're now angry or frustrated with their lack of understanding. It sounds unreasonable now - but we all have been guilty of doing this at least once in our lives. Logically we know that anger is not constructive, especially when working with animals, yet sometimes we do get frustrated. It is in these moments that we need to be very strict with ourselves. We need to make sure that we do not act in anger - because that is when we do things we later regret.

This actually translates to all areas of life - getting angry or frustrated is seldom (if ever) constructive - so I propose that it's about time we ask ourselves why we still allow ourselves to act in anger in so many areas of our lives?

One thing you can know for sure is that if you are frustrated with your horse, they're probably equally frustrated with you. The difference between the horse and the human is that the horse is always honest in reflecting, through their behaviour, what they're thinking, seeing and feeling. Humans, on the other hand, have no humbleness in their frustrations - everything becomes the horse's fault and "why won't you just do what I tell you!". It is this tendency to justification that sours relationships between man and beast. Where animals are willing and able to be honest with themselves and with you - you are more likely to blame them for your shortcomings in that moment.

So - I've covered the 'problem' quite a bit, now what is the solution? A handy tip I learned from my teacher is to always keep a smile in your belly. This means that no matter what you're doing with your horse (or whatever part of your life), you're doing it with the intention and inner presence of supporting your horse and being their friend. It means making sure that who you are with your horse is someone that they want to be friends and partners with, that if you get frustrated when your horse doesn't understand you first remember to bring a smile back into your belly and look for different ways to help your horse understand.

I can't count the number of times a play session with a horse turned sour because I let myself get frustrated - so I know how difficult it can be to keep a cool head and a light heart! What I can say is that when I do adjust my approach (who I am), I get significantly improved results where my horse is with me again and trying their best to understand and be my partner.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Day 972: Separating Emotions from Information

We often react emotionally to events and situations in our lives / environment, yet being in an emotional state is one of the biggest reasons we are unable to effectively direct those events effectively, or give support where we see we can. What do you do in those situations when you are reacting to an event?

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Thursday, January 28, 2016

Day 971: My Path Today

This is the third (and final) part of my path to where I am today.

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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Day 970: Creating Discipline in Me

In this recording I share how I developed discipline and consistency within myself.

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Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Day 969: Then and Now: The Road to Desteni

This is the first part in my story from who I was before Desteni, the path I walked to create change within myself and, eventually, who I am now. I am not sure how many parts there will be! This one focuses on the early days of Desteni and farm living.

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Monday, January 25, 2016

Day 968: If You Keep Doing What You've Always Done...

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you always got.

We often don't realise how relevant this statement is to all aspects of our lives. Where in your life do you do the same things over and over while expecting different results - without realising what you're doing?

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Saturday, January 23, 2016

Day 967: The Slow Death of Thinking

What process do you go through when you are stopping a thought / behavioural pattern? Do the thoughts ever really go away? Do your thoughts have power over you?

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Friday, January 22, 2016

Day 966: Words Create Our World

Everything we are and do in this life is defined and given meaning by words. Our thoughts consist of words, our communication (therefore relationships) consist of words, our careers and skills consist of words. We have taken this seemingly insignificant part of our lives for granted. What words are you living?


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Thursday, January 21, 2016

Day 965: The Irrational Design of Judgement

Judgement has become a part of us, a part of our inner selves, our relationships with others. How does this construct permeate and define us to this degree, especially considering how irrational it is?

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Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Day 964: Ice-O-Lation

Why do we experience the feeling of isolation? How do we create and perpetuate this experience in our lives?

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Sunday, January 17, 2016

Day 963: Swinging Between Dominance and Submission

Have you been either a very dominant or submissive person in your life? How do you find the balance without bouncing between the two extremes?

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Saturday, January 16, 2016

Day 962: I Can't Stand Their Experience!

Are you avoiding someone because they're in an emotional state that you are reacting to?

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Friday, January 15, 2016

Day 961: Avoid Like the Plague

Why are there some people in your life who you have the intense drive to avoid like the plague, for no apparent reason?

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Thursday, January 14, 2016

Day 960: I am Not Good Enough

How does your self judgement show you what you have not yet accepted about yourself?

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Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Day 959: Apocalypse Please

Is the end of the world a viable solution to end suffering and abuse?

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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Day 958: Are You Willing to Forgive the Worst?

Are you willing to forgive the absolute worst parts of humanity? That is what it will take to create a better human for the future: complete and unconditional forgiveness.

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Monday, January 11, 2016

Day 957: Fear is the Mind Killer

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert, Dune

Does fear dictate who you are and the choices you make? Do you allow your experience of fear to overwhelm you and diminish your ability to see reality clearly?

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Day 956: Relationship Success Support: Moving In Together

This discussion is all about that "big step" that happens in all long term relationships: moving in with your partner. What inner experiences are common when facing the question of moving in together? What thoughts and emotions may you experience when making the choice? What new phase in your relationship may taking this step initiate, and how can you support yourself and your partner through it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QN_ez2F7cZs

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Day 955: Necessities vs Luxuries

A common challenge for some people is being able to determine what within their monthly expenses is a requirement in order to live and what is a luxury and can be done without if in a tight spot. Often our perception of how we're spending money and the reality of it are two completely different things - how can you support yourself to make your money management more practical?

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Thursday, January 7, 2016

Day 954: The Basics of Budgeting

Very few people are taught how to manage their money effectively in school or at home - this leads to the common experience of spending money that you don't actually have, of being tight at the end of every month because you spent money, without realising at the time, on things you didn't actually need. In this introductory recording I cover some basic considerations and advice for managing your budget, including how to deal with that good feeling you get when you spend money.

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Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Day 953: Hostage to the Past

Do you hold yourself / others hostage in the past, and by so doing, sabotage the potential for change?

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Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Day 952: Easy Peasy Self Dishonesty

Why is it so easy to lie to yourself? Why do you continue to do things that you KNOW will have unpleasant consequences, even after you could have done something to prevent that? Why are we oh-so-stuck in our apparent "human nature"? Is change even possible?

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Monday, January 4, 2016

Day 951: Why Am I Who I Am

How many of your thoughts and inner experiences are you aware of? Do you know exactly where your thoughts, behaviours and experiences come from? What could we accomplish if we knew ourselves better?

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Sunday, January 3, 2016

Day 950: A Fresh Start

Giving yourself a fresh start can be a good thing. However, believing that the past disappears when you are giving yourself a blank slate is only going to hold you back from being able to move forward effectively.

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Saturday, January 2, 2016

Day 949: Commitment

What is commitment? What are the common challenges that people face with commitment? How can you redefine commitment for yourself in a way that is practical?

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Friday, January 1, 2016

Day 948: And My Resolution Is...

What do the typical New Year Resolutions tell us about who we are as a people / society? How can we redirect ourselves to changing the source of our habits and patterns, rather than relying on the idea of a 'clean slate' at the beginning of every year?

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