Day 645: Transforming Hopelessness

First, allow me to say how good it feels to be typing this - I have been unable to post anything in the last 2 days (dues to unexpected events and not having electricity for most of Sunday). Having the opportunity to write feels good - which seems kind of counter intuitive considering the generally held opinion of the human race. The feeling that comes is a sense of fulfillment of following through with my commitment.

This was quite a moving Talk by Nick Vujicic who was born without arms or legs. He speaks of overcoming hopelessness and creating himself and his life from the starting point of no restrictions and no beliefs holding him back. He has achieved much - you could probably say that this is thanks to his "disability" rather than in spite of - he was able to do this because he did not hold himself back. He did not allow any thoughts of "you're not good enough", or "what are you thinking, you can't do this".

Let's put aside the hope, faith and god bits and focus on what can actually be done by any person who so wishes to achieve something. What is hopelessness? It is thinking and believing that you do not have the ability or power to effect change. There are some situations in this life (they shouldn't exist, but unfortunately they do) in which the lack of power or ability to change your life may be a very real thing, as opposed to it being perceived. The difference between real and perceived powerlessness is that when it's real then there is literally nothing you can do to change the situation, but when it's perceived it's more like a state of mind rather than the absence of solutions. Hopelessness is not the same as powerlessness. Hopelessness is a state of mind in which you accept defeat and allow depressive and negative thoughts. Powerlessness is more like a fact. If you have the power to change something you have it - if you don't, you don't.

Hopelessness is a prime example showing how you can be your greatest enemy - where you allow negative and self defeating thoughts to influence your actions and state of being. Nick labels these thoughts as lies - Desteni labels them as backchat and as self dishonesty - so we're talking about the same thing, just with different vocabulary. In a way your thoughts can control you if you let them. Consider suicide: you may tell yourself "just give up. Just give up. Just give up. You're worthless. No one could ever love the real you" over and over and over until you feel like giving up, until you believe that you are worthless and unlovable. The thing to remember is that these thoughts are essentially you - they are not being implanted in your mind by some alien creature - they exist because you allow them to and because you actively participate in them.

Something that leads to much self loathing and depression in this world is the concept of value that we force upon one another. In truth, value is not determined by looks, your jobs, place of birth, money - each of us has an intrinsic value of life - nothing can change this. Appearances is a big one - it's funny, like Nick pointed out in a story he told of how some teens told him that they did not judge him by his appearance but would go and bully other students for their appearances, we say that looks are not important - but why do we then go and kill each other with out words? Why do you look in the mirror and see ugliness instead of value?

Consider this: Would $1billion take away the pain of losing someone close? No. We are the ones who perceive that the value of money is greater than the value of life - this is not the case. Money cannot replace life.

This world is all about unattainable standards that ensure that you will never accept yourself, no matter how hard you try to achieve those standards. Nothing you do will ever be enough unless you realise that it's all a lie, that the game is rigged against us all.

A quote from Nick's Talk: "When you don't get a miracle you can still be a miracle for someone else" - forget the god part and consider what truth is in this statement: you may not get the life you would like, no matter what you do, but you can still live as an example to others and change their lives.

So forget the positivity in this message from Nick and realise that each person is capable of changing their own lives by stopping the thoughts that are telling them that they can't. Realise that each person has the ability to develop themselves in any way they choose - some things may be difficult and others may be easy. Hope and faith are not necessary - they are not practical - they lead you to a point of not being entirely realistic with yourself and missing what is already here.