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Monday, September 15, 2014

Day 599: Which Way Should I Go?

We all have to make choices in our lives. Sometimes the choices affect only us, other times they have wide-reaching effects.

We tend to get a little flustered and stressed out when we're faced with a big choice. There are usually a myriad of things to consider and usually all sorts of people trying to push you this way or that. All in all, it can be a pretty unpleasant experience when we don't know how to effectively deal with the shit that seems to be flying at us from all directions.

So how the hell do you make a decision, especially when there seems to be so much stuff overwhelming you? First step:
  • Stop and breathe
 It's time to get practical, it's also time to figure out exactly what's going on inside you in relation to this decision you're facing.
  • Start writing 
    • Make a list of ALL the thoughts you're having about this choice (no judgement! Give yourself the opportunity to be honest with yourself!)
    • Make a list of all the emotions/feelings you are experiencing around the choice
You will notice an interesting thing: most of the thoughts and emotions trace back to just a few points. Why the hell did it feel so overwhelming and confusing? Well that's just how the mind works, it chucks a bunch of stuff at you and when you don't deal with it then it seems to get bigger and bigger until you can't take it anymore. 
  • Forgive yourself!
    • Writing out your thoughts gives you the opportunity to get a better understanding of where they came from. Write some more about the thoughts and emotions - write about what triggers those thoughts, if you can remember the first time you had those thoughts.
    • This gives you a solid foundation to write some comprehensive Self Forgiveness in which you can clearly see the patterns inside yourself.
  • Self Correction: Lay a plan for how to correct the patterns
    • Write out statements where you can direct yourself on what to do when that thought / experiences comes up within you again, within the understanding of where it came from and why it exists within you.
You may be asking "Why should I do all this?"

WELL - A funny thing tends to happen when you make a choice that's not entirely clear within you. Things tend to go wrong. It feels like the universe is out to get you, but in reality you're the one who is the biggest contributor to the mess. What usually happens is that you open a can of self sabotage on yourself - not on purpose of course (well, not consciously at least). Maybe you take risks you know you shouldn't, or you say something you shouldn't to someone you really shouldn't have said it to  - it can manifest in many different ways.

So once you've made your insides more manageable, it's time to turn your attention on to the actual choice at hand.
  • Make a list of pro's and con's of all your available choices
    • Push yourself to think outside the box - try and think of as many dimensions of the choices as possible, as well as what the consequences may be.
Yup, it's a simple and yet effective part of effective decision making.
  •  Look at all the pro's and con's and check yourself for any reactions
    • Look out for thoughts, emotions and feelings that indicate that you may have some issue with the particular point you're looking at
    • Follow same steps as above for anything that comes up
In the end you want to be making a clear choice based on as much fact as possible. "Clear" meaning that you are at peace with the choice and know exactly why you're making it, there is also no hidden stuff influencing you.

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