For some strange reason, we humans tend to not spend much time or effort in understanding the world, people, animals and system around us. We function very much (generally speaking) as 'direct-line thinkers' and project how we see and understand the world onto everything and everyone around us. Unfortunately, this can have some very unpleasant consequences for the people, animals and earth that are at our mercy.
We open up a chocolate bar, eat it and are left with a wrapper. What can one do with a wrapper? Not much, really. Toss it in the trash and never think of it again. In such a simple action, we miss the impact that we have on the world around us - we do not ask the question: where does the wrapper end up? Out of sight, out of mind. I would like to show in this post how this direct line thinking can influence our ability to develop effective communication and understanding with horses - because, sadly, there are so few people who make the effort to really change the way they think.
A common example of direct line thinking when dealing with horses is: if the horse doesn't do what you want, hit him until he does.
Horse won't load? Beat him into the box.
Horse needs to run faster? Hit him harder.
Horse spooks at something and wants to bolt? Hit him to get his attention.
These things are common - so common that they are often regarded as acceptable treatment of "your personal property".
We humans tend to take the shortest route from A to B - and when things don't go our way we tend to respond with anger. We blame the things around us for not doing what they're supposed to. We blame our horses for being stupid, or silly, or naughty. What do we keep missing? What are we not seeing?
Take a step back and take a wide view of these scenarios. What do you see? Let me tell you what I see:
I see horses trying to communicate their feelings to their humans in hundreds of small and different ways. I see humans ignoring their horse's messages.
I see horses who see no other way to get their point across other than resorting to extreme behaviour. I see humans punishing their horses for their desperate attempts at communication.
I see a myriad of small and large messages that horses try to express in the only ways they know how. I see no one acknowledging these messages.
Horses are always telling us things, they are always giving us information. We are the ones who must change our way of thinking and interpreting behaviour to understand the horse - not the other way around. Horses do not have our capacity for adaptation - they cannot change the way they think and behave independently in order to accommodate our shortcomings. We are the ones who are responsible for ensuring that there is a clear line of communication - and this means having a dialogue (where information goes both ways) and not a monologue (where only one party is speaking).
Most of us are not naturally skilled at interpreting the nuances of horse behaviour - it is something that must be shown to us, it must be learned by us. There are very few people who have been able to learn directly, and only, from horses. Taking on the responsibility of working with or caring for horses requires that we develop ourselves in such a way that we can start understanding the horse - because without understanding communication will be ineffective.
Allow me to paint you a picture: When I first started working with Buddy a couple years ago, I did not yet have the understanding or ability to interpret his behaviour accurately (his attempts to communicate). I therefore interpreted his responses to me as being naughty and defiant. I reached a point (thankfully it didn't take very long at all!) where I realised that I needed help - I couldn't go on having these arguments with him - more importantly, I didn't want to do things in that way. So I called up my friend and very skilled teacher, Patsy Devine of Triple H Horsemanship Center, and I asked her to come out and give me a hand. Well let me tell you, Patsy saw an entirely different picture to what I thought I had been seeing. She saw an incredibly intelligent, willing and gentle soul who just needed a slightly different approach to what I had been attempting. I felt like a complete ass. I berated myself for being so arrogant, so ignorant. I like to think that moment was the real beginning of my journey into horsemanship. From that moment on I committed myself to being more aware, more observant, more understanding and most importantly: more patient. This shift within me started changing so much. Before then I was practicing natural horsemanship, but after that moment I started living it. Of course I didn't change all of my bad habits all at once, it was the start of a process that I intend to walk for the rest of my days. I am committed to always be a student, to always be open to learn more, see more and be humble. None of this would have been possible if I hadn't met Patsy, for which I am so, so, so grateful.
It's OK for us to admit we've been wrong. It's OK for us to admit we've made mistakes. We owe it to the animals on this planet to own up to our mistakes and take responsibility for being better to them and for them.