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Friday, August 22, 2014

Day 584: Hate the Life You Chose

Do you want to "get away" from your life, from your partner, kids, job, whatever? Do you wake up in the morning and dread the day ahead? Are you stuck in a habit of resenting your partner and/or kids? Do you wish you had a different life?

You chose this life, even when you felt like you had no choice. So now you hate the life that you chose for yourself - what the hell happens next?

To a degree, many people do not have many opportunities and/or options in life, this is most often because of not having enough money to buy those opportunities. So you may be one of these people with limited choices and opportunities - chances are that you are.

Chances also are that you, like so many other people, do not have very good communication skills. You most probably tend to try to interpret all the people in your life through your own understanding and opinions about the world, looking at everything as if yours is the only view that counts. This type of thinking will not help improve you relationships - good communication is based on a willingness and effort to understand other peoples' perspectives. Unfortunately most of us are brought up to think only about ourselves, making it difficult to empathise with other people.

You may be one of those numbers in the "bad marriage" or "soon to be divorced" statistics - where you just can't find a way to fix your relationship with your long term partner. The problem is that over the years two people may have arguments or hurt each other and not know how to, or be willing to, eat humble pie and apologise. Thinking that you are right and the other person is wrong will not get you anywhere. You need to be able to have a calm and open discussion with another person to find out what the other is feeling and thinking, in order to get a fuller understanding of each other. Taking the time to do this will lead to a more fulfilling relationship with less conflict.

So many people resent and become spiteful towards their partners, reaching a point where they have had their feelings hurt and ego deflated so many times that they refuse to share themselves. This sharing requires a certain vulnerability and shedding of ego - if you are not willing to do this then you can expect to remain in the cycle of bitterness and spite.

As people grow older, sometimes they become more crazy, because of the things that happened to them in their lives. When considering this, you should consider whether every single person in this world isn't crazy. How can we be the way we are and still have gotten to where we are without self destructing, I don't know.

We are a petty and small minded lot, driven by greed and jealousy. We are quick to anger and think only of ourselves. We have a tendency to keep ourselves in the same destructive patterns and focusing on everything that's "wrong" instead of pushing ourselves to find solutions and from that improve our lives. Even with all this there is potential to overcome our apparent nature and transform ourselves into beings of integrity.

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