Day 531: When Fantasies Turn Violent

A woman attacked with acid. A teenager stabbed to death. A woman raped and beaten. Women smashed in the head with bowling balls and glass bottles.
Those are real life examples of violence that women have experienced after they rejected the sexual advances of men — when they refused to flirt with them, dance with them, go on a date with them, or have sex with them — being collected by a new Tumblr page called “When Women Refuse.” The recent mass shooting in Santa Barbara, which was perpetrated by a young man who wanted to punish the women who weren’t attracted to him, is the latest example of a tragedy that fits this profile.
“We still don’t view gender based violence as a large cultural issue — we tend to think of these as isolated incidences,” Deanna Zandt, the co-founder of the digital strategy group Lux Digital and the feminist activist who started the Tumblr, explained in an interview. “We still don’t view it as a larger problem within rape culture.” - Think Progress

Our cultures have changed drastically in the last 200 years, and even more so in the last 50. Parents tell their children that they are fantastic and that they deserve anything they want - and that any person who doesn't want them is an idiot. Well, apparently if you keep telling someone the same thing over and over they start to believe it. Couple this with the ever increasing fantasy realities that we prefer over "the real world" and you are bound to get a few crazies who can't tell their fantasies from reality, or who go berserk when reality turns out to be different to what the rest of their entire life promised them it would be.

Is it any wonder that men who start watching porn from the moment they hit puberty treat women like dirt? Is it any wonder that some people have explosive reactions when their experiences in the world don't correspond with the fantasies they've been fed up until now? This culture is not confined to the privileged or to one race - it has become global. Horror stories come from all corners of the globe, from all walks of life.

Blockbuster films depict all sorts of things that are simply not real - they create an ideal that ends up being the thing that shapes young minds and entrances the young and old alike into a belief that life works a certain way, that YOU are special, that love is forever and will simply work on its own due to the mere fact that it exists. Movies and TV shows are especially proficient at depicting sex to be a certain way, when the reality is simply not so. The repercussions of this extend further than many realise, where we base our entire definition and idea of what sex is and what it should be on an ideal that simply doesn't correspond to our experiences. At the end of the day you are left wondering what is wrong with you for not feeling the way people seem to feel on TV.

We have been living in fantasy worlds in our minds. We are gradually becoming less capable of interacting with people and our environments effectively and in a way that brings pleasant feedback and experiences. Men think that women are here to please them. Women think that men are here to adore them. Children think that they will grow up to be royalty. All the while no one is paying attention to what is happening in the world, no one sees that because they are living in a fantasy world they are allowing the real world to exist in a state of chaos and despair by not participating in it with the goal of changing it. This state of fantasy extends even into the minds of political leaders, where their number one goal is no longer the betterment of the entire community, but the advancing of their own agendas and opinions.

Of course a fantasy world is much more pleasant to live in, chances are in there you are always right, you are the best of the best and you can be anyone you want. It does give you all of these things - the problem is that it's not REAL, and the moment you realise that, your world comes crashing down - this is when things happen that involve the destroying of lives other than your own, whether it is physical or mental - chances are you're going to want to take out your pain and anger on something. Where did you think domestic violence, animal abuse, rape, murder and all of those nasty things are born? They are born in people's shattered images of themselves, when reality doesn't meet their expectations.