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Monday, December 23, 2013

Day 487: Don Jon Reflection

So I just watched this movie, Don Jon, and it was quite an accurate reflection of life for the young adult in many parts of the world, especially westernized parts. It goes like this: Men are obsessed with sex and perfect women, and they're kind of shallow, egotistical assholes. They watch lots of porn and have warped ideas of what a woman should look like and what sex is all about. Women, on the other hand, focus on trying to match the appearance and sexuality that men think women should have so that they can find the "perfect man" who will do anything for them just like in every fairytale they've seen since they were like 2.

When a man and women do meet up and develop a relationship that extends further than pure sex (often mediocre sex), the focus of the relationship is on fulfilling each other's illusions of what the perfect partner is like. The relationship often remains shallow, because both parties are trying to manifest a fantasy, so neither of them is too interested in the reality of actually getting to know one another. The other main focus of this movie was on addiction to porn and the illusions about what sex should be like that comes with that addiction.

In all, the movie represents a very acute point that our society faces today: people are living their lives in their fantasies and basically ignoring reality. What the movie failed to do was present a clear alternative to this superficial and illusory lifestyle. The fact that it used a women whose family had recently dies to represent the movement of the main (male) character moving away from his porn addiction and into a "better" relationship in itself implies that "better relationships" can only happen when you meet someone who has suffered some loss, or has been through a very "heavy" personal experience. The movie also doesn't really give a clear sense of what sex should be like, only that sexual partners should "get lost in each other" in order to enjoy sex fully - which also is just another concept that limits sexual expression and defines within inside some relatively restricted lines.

The reality is that sex is not "magical" - it is an expression and exploration of oneself and one's partner. In reality, the woman requires far more attention (most of the time) than the man because of the slower arousal phases in place in the female body. Sex is something that requires patience and intimacy - an intimacy that is conducive to both partners allowing themselves to be vulnerable and open with each other so that they can be comfortable to express themselves in the ways that they enjoy the most.

In conclusion, although the movie looked at some relevant points in terms of our lifestyles, it did not delve very far below the superficial nature of sex and relationships, but rather made a wishy-washy picture of a relationship between 2 semi-broken people who helped each other in developing themselves/overcoming some emotional obstacle. The film also at no time challenged the misconception of all women reaching orgasm - so enforcing the idea that as long as the man reaches completion then all is well.

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