I deserve it.
This is something we tell ourselves every now and then - for some it is hardly ever and for others it is more often.
I've had a hard day.
It's been a stressful month.
I already did that other thing which makes up for me not doing this.
I just got bad news.
I just got good news.
I did something great today.
I did something terrible today.
I need to relax after a hectic month.
I am depressed and should focus on making myself feel better.
I didn't sleep well.
I love myself and I should prove it.
There is a fine line between making an excuse and giving valid reasons. We tend to err on the side of excuses.
Essentially we try to maintain our positive self image - the way we see ourselves. We don't like seeing ourselves as lazy or as someone who makes excuses all the time - this is why we try to come up with the very best excuses, really good reasons for not doing whatever we committed to. It is a conundrum. We chuck our honesty with ourselves out the window in order to maintain our self delusions and because we have done this we are more likely to be oblivious to the truth - whatever it may be in the moment.
You know what it's like trying to show someone how they've missed something, or are not seeing something clearly when they're wholly committed to a particular course of action or belief - it's like talking to a wall. Eventually your conversation devolves into a heated back and forth with both parties walking away from it with feelings of anger and frustration. Now, imagine that about half of the things you think and do are based on your observations and deductions that may not be entirely clear and, well, true. We develop our entire self identity around a myriad of beliefs and assumptions that only exists as they do so that we can feel good about ourselves - and because everyone else does the same, no one says anything about it. Interestingly, our entire social construct has evolved to protect our delusional self beliefs by also protecting everyone else's - because if no one says anything about anyone's misconceptions, then everyone's self image is safe.
I have some interesting quotes to throw your way from one or 2 psychology text books, which is what I will be starting in my net post.
This is something we tell ourselves every now and then - for some it is hardly ever and for others it is more often.
I've had a hard day.
It's been a stressful month.
I already did that other thing which makes up for me not doing this.
I just got bad news.
I just got good news.
I did something great today.
I did something terrible today.
I need to relax after a hectic month.
I am depressed and should focus on making myself feel better.
I didn't sleep well.
I love myself and I should prove it.
There is a fine line between making an excuse and giving valid reasons. We tend to err on the side of excuses.
Essentially we try to maintain our positive self image - the way we see ourselves. We don't like seeing ourselves as lazy or as someone who makes excuses all the time - this is why we try to come up with the very best excuses, really good reasons for not doing whatever we committed to. It is a conundrum. We chuck our honesty with ourselves out the window in order to maintain our self delusions and because we have done this we are more likely to be oblivious to the truth - whatever it may be in the moment.
You know what it's like trying to show someone how they've missed something, or are not seeing something clearly when they're wholly committed to a particular course of action or belief - it's like talking to a wall. Eventually your conversation devolves into a heated back and forth with both parties walking away from it with feelings of anger and frustration. Now, imagine that about half of the things you think and do are based on your observations and deductions that may not be entirely clear and, well, true. We develop our entire self identity around a myriad of beliefs and assumptions that only exists as they do so that we can feel good about ourselves - and because everyone else does the same, no one says anything about it. Interestingly, our entire social construct has evolved to protect our delusional self beliefs by also protecting everyone else's - because if no one says anything about anyone's misconceptions, then everyone's self image is safe.
I have some interesting quotes to throw your way from one or 2 psychology text books, which is what I will be starting in my net post.
Thank you :D
ReplyDeleteGeat post - thanks Cerise !
ReplyDeleteAppreciated your personal perspective on 'time' and how important it is for young adults to pay attention to the way they are spending their 'time'='life'. Very thoughtful post.
ReplyDelete