Day 167: That's Not Me! Who Am I Then?

We all look back on our lives and our memories and what we were and who we were - the funny thing is that most of the time we're thinking "was that really me?", "did I really do that?", "was that who I was?". And this is just with the memories we actually remember - most of our lives are a hazy blur of landmarks on the fast road to right here, right now.

If we look back at our lives and wonder if the memories we hold are really our own, does that change who we are here and now? If we do not recognise ourselves within our memories, does that make us different people? Do our memories define who we are even when we cannot recall them? Can we still be held accountable for our actions if we don't recognise ourselves within the memories of those actions? What of the people who lose their memories from amnesia, Alzheimers or dementia - do they remain the same people, or do they change so that those who knew them recognise them no longer?

If we forget most of our memories whilst remembering only a few, significant ones, does that change how we feel about ourselves if, say the memories we do remember are ones we are ashamed of? Would one memory be any more significant than another if it wasn't only based on our ability to recall them? Would it be fair to rate the significance of an event based on how clearly we remember it?

Why does muscle/physical memory work differently to the memories within our minds? Do they work differently, or do they just seem to function differently because they are happening within different manifestations? How do memories and actions come to us without us having to think of them?

Who am I, if I am not everything I cannot remember being and doing?

Do my memories still influence me if I cannot recall them?

If my memories of myself contradict who I am now, does that make me a different person, schizophrenic or simply insane?

One could say that all we are today is because of everything that has happened in our lives up until this point. Does this mean that we are slaves to our pasts, to the people and the events and to our own inner experiences that have shaped and molded us into the person we are today? No, we are able to choose who we are within our every breath. The problem is that most of the time we are unaware of the extent to which who we are here and now is because of who we were and who we were taught to be in our pasts.

Change does not come easily to us - we've spent all of our lives living a certain way, thinking particular thoughts, feeling specific feelings - it's all we know. If we are to change we must choose it in every moment, with every in-breath we must decide what we will accept and allow to exist within us, and with every out breath we must decide what we will accept and allow to exist within us.

Deconstruct yourself within Desteni I Process